Saturday, June 12, 2004 :::
i just had an interesting sort of revelation.
i'm sitting here programming for my operating systems class and i'm listening to jude. this song with a very peaceful melody (though ironically enough called the asshole song) came on and it reminded me of when i first began listening to jude a little over a year ago. it was a different time in my life - not exactly a good time. i would listen to jude / jason mraz / ari hest to and from class and it was the best thing ever. it actually made me feel good. it was an escape. it was an escape i needed. maybe it kept me sane.
and what struck me when i heard the song again was the memories it brought back. i realized that i don't listen to music going to and from class anymore (granted, i ride my bike, but i din't yearn for it like i did). i don't need to escape. i remembered what it felt like. wonderful, yes, but the neccessity of the escape somewhat grayed the color of the wonder.
it may sound like i was depressed, and maybe to some extent i was? to be honest, i don't know. i just wasn't satisfied with the way my life was. but now, now is quite and very different. i'm extremely happy, i'm in a fullfilling relationship, and ive seem to have found a direction in my life.
{:o)
so yea, i'm graduating in a week. maybe i'll blog about that after finals.
Soup
1:13 AM:::
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